Sometimes we find ourselves holding on, with our nails digging in, hoping to maintain security, safety, certainty.
For me, this usually happened when I was holding on to relationships that had died 6 … 9 … 12 months earlier.
Utterly unhappy, without the guts to end it. Because the devil you know…
Well, one thing was certain, I maintained the security of unhappiness till the bitter end.
That bitter end is usually when the universe throws you a curve ball and you are forced to do something, anything.
And then finally, you go through the shouting, the tears, the grief, the pain. Only to come out on the other end, a bit shaken but still in one piece (surprise! surprise!).
And there the “epiphany” awaits you that you should have done this months earlier. That yes, you feel guilty. That yes, you disappointed people. That yes, this was painful. But YES!!! IT WAS WORTHWHILE! Because in taking the guilt, you’ve grown up and grown taller at least 2 inches.
Reality comes with the unexpected – can you believe that that curve ball the universe throws at you is for the best?
When will you start to have trust that your life leads you down the path that was meant for you?
Oh yes, I have been there, fighting with reality… haven’t we all? How about you?
When we are fighting with reality, it hurts. As the Buddha said our suffering comes from our thoughts, desires, convictions about what life should be. Suffering will cease as we let go of this clinging & craving. The unthinkable suffering Victor Frankl experienced left him with wisdom where death was close.
Our consciousness is relative. We can learn from this – happiness stems from the immaterial, material items give little and certainly no long-lasting satisfaction. Our “existence” is not defined by our physical being: most cells in our body get replaced within days or months. Our brain is malleable.
As we stop trying to change reality, as we let go of our thoughts of how this world ought to be for us… That’s when we gain happiness in return.
The path of the Buddha may speak to us, but how do we achieve this, in our daily lives?
If you are looking for a practical entrance to this kind of thinking, check out Byron Katie at thework.com.
For me, her “judge-your-neighbour” worksheet is THE FOUR-FOLD PATH of the Buddha: it frees your thinking, helps you release convictions, cravings and clinging to what’s not useful.
And, you’re very welcome to connect with me if you are looking to add some tools to your toolbox for a good life.
We all have our rough edges… which allow our beauty to shine even more!
This may be the song Leonard Cohen never wrote, but in my head it fits right in there with “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” No day without night, no good without evil, no up without down. We know joy all the better because we know what sadness is. Sunshine without rain blisters the earth. Feel blessed that you can have this all-round human experience – it is the meaning of life!
These two guys, Mike Mandel & Chris Thompson, have been part of my life since 4 years now. When I decided to train on Neuro-Linguistic Programming, I looked for info on-line and found their podcast. Hilarious infotainment, great content, so I was hooked. Often their explanations made the theory I was learning come to life. And equally often, I find myself laughing out loud!
Normally I listen to them when I run or hike my (almost personal) forest trail behind my house.
And, yes, that is an anchor now (I do invite you to train with me, if you do not get that anchor statement).
I couldn’t make it to their Toronto trainings due to my 3-year psychology post-graduate. However, right after my graduation, I went to HTL in Las Vegas & trained with Mike Mandel on Ericksonian Hypnosis – see photo above. Some of the quotes that are posted in my blogs are from them – they call them empowering questions. Browse through and see how these questions make a difference in your life.
Their podcast contains excellent reminders for a better approach to life: more fun, more fitness, more mindful of what you do. So check it out: podcast Brain Software & MMHAwesome Instagram filled with tips by these two AWESOME trainers, hypnotists & podcasters…
As Mike’s credo goes: “My life has to be effortless, fun & slightly annoying to other people”
Who were your childhood heroes?
Halfway point for my 4-week summer course, the Summer of Emotional Intelligence!, I asked the students this question.
And now I am asking you. Who was your childhood hero and what specific skills did you admire in them?
Write them down & think about it for a moment.
The fun thing is: the skills that appealed most to you, you’ve probably integrated in your personality by now.
Ask your friends if you do not believe me!
Just like you are aiming to become like any role model you admire today… who are your heroes? And what aspects of their personality are you living? And what aspects of their personality are you still learning to integrate?
If you do not have any heroes, get yourself some! They will inspire you to grow & before you know it, you own the characteristics you admire.